Mind over matter

Our minds…They can be our best friends and our worst enemies. They can be our biggest cheerleader, most supporting fan, then turn into an abusive, criticising bully. How are our minds so powerful? What can we do to better control our thoughts and why is it so important?

I’ve heard a lot recently about the power of the mind. But what is that and what does it mean? Obviously our brains are powerful, they control everything in our bodies and everything that we do, so isn’t saying our minds are powerful just stating the obvious? The way I understand it, our brains and our minds are two different things. Our brains control our bodies, our nervous system, our actions, our breathing, everything we need to survive. But our minds. Our minds are a little more complex and in-depth. Our minds are those whispers we hear telling us that we are not good enough. Telling us that we made a mistake or we shouldn’t have said those things. Our minds are what triggers those wonderful, butterfly feeling positive emotions and the dark, all-encompassing negative ones. Our mind seems to…well…have a mind of its own. Our minds say to our bodies, “nah. You guys do your thing, I’m going off on my own here”. It has a sick fantasy of clinging on for dear life to the darkest, most negative thoughts and refuses to let go. Ever noticed how you can have 100 compliments thrown your way, an abundance of positive things happening to you, yet the one negative comment, the one negative event that happens, your mind clings on to it. It ignores everything else, all the magic and wonder and happiness. It dwells on to the bad stuff, cradling it like a precious baby and wants to be at the forefront of all of your thoughts, reminding you constantly that it is there.

I’m not saying this to blow my own trumpet or try and boost my ego but I get a lot of compliments, as we all do. But do I fondly remember those? Do I sit and think of all the lovely things people have said to me, with a beaming smile on my face? No. I remember a negative comment someone made to me five years ago. And it was a passing comment. They probably don’t even remember saying it. But me? Oh, my mind loves to throw it in to the forefront of my thoughts every so often. Loves to remind me of this comment. And how am I left feeling? Like crap. Utter crap. Why can’t my mind just let it go? Why can’t it store it away like all the other unimportant and untrue thoughts? That’s the thing. Our words are so powerful, and when you say words to other people, they can have such a profound impact on them and you don’t even realise. As our parents used to tell us, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. If you feel like your words are possibly not the most positive, then just don’t say them. As your words can embed themselves on to someone’s mind. For ever. But that’s a whole other can of worms, maybe for another blog. But the point is, this person who said those negative words to me, may not have even meant them to be hurtful or for them to stick in my mind. But they have. Because our mind loves this shit. It revels in it.

I once read that the things we worry about what other people may think of us, are actually the things we think personally about ourselves. For example, if you get hung up on thinking other people may think you are too loud or too “in your face”, it’s actually YOU who thinks that about yourself. Quite harsh but it’s true. Think about it. I know that rings true for me. When I think about the things that I have obsessed over, thinking that is what other people think about me, it’s because I actually have those critiques of myself. Not others. Me. Again, back to the point of us being our own worst enemies. We say and think things about ourselves that we wouldn’t even dream of saying or thinking about another person. So how can we so freely be mean and awful to ourselves without batting an eyelid? If you have ever said something hurtful to someone, and I’m sure we all have, we feel so guilty about it afterwards. But do we feel guilty about criticising ourselves? Do we feel guilty for looking in the mirror and thinking negative things about ourselves? No. We accept it. As if it is the truth. But it is not the truth. It is not reality. It’s our minds.

For the past year or so, I have really been working on positive thinking. And that is not saying that you have to be positive about everything, because sometimes, really shit things happen. And that’s okay. It’s okay to feel sad or angry, we’re entitled to those emotions. I mean positive thinking in the sense of what you think you attract. Whatever vibes or energy you put out there, they are what come back to you. You create your own reality. And I am sure we have all heard this at some point in our lives, and if not, then I am so glad you are reading this blog, because it is so incredibly true. Let me give you an example of this. Think of the many times you have woken up in a bad mood, or something really crappy happens first thing in the morning. You spill that first cup of morning coffee, or you wake up feeling grumpy and miserable. You then say to yourself, “this is going to be a really bad day, I can just sense it”. So you’ve put those words, that energy, out there. And guess what happens? You have the shitest of shit days. Everything that can possibly go wrong, does. You lose your keys whilst running late for work. There are no carparks when you get to work. Your manager has a go at you for something, you forgot your lunch, you end up having an argument with your significant other, the list goes on. And although you may be thinking “poor me”, “why is everything going wrong?”, “today is just a crap day” blah blah, it’s because you created that. You told yourself you were going to have a bad day. So you focused on all the shit things. You probably didn’t notice that nice guy smiling at you, or a friendly face offering a coffee and a chat. You were so obsessed over it being a bad day, that you made it one. And yes, some things happen to us beyond our control but it is our perception of these things that make it a bad day or a good day with one or two bad things happening. We create our realities. Our minds will show us what we want to see. If you manifest good thoughts and good things, they turn into reality. And guess what? We end up having a great day. I practice this day to day. I forever tell myself where my business if going to go, how well that days meeting goes, how I’m going to have a great day, week, month, year. And you know what? It happens. Because I believe it, I think it, I know it will happen and it does. Let me put it out there, I tried it with the $32 million dollar lottery jackpot, it doesn’t seem to work like that. I literally stood at the counter, choosing my numbers, telling myself that this was it, imagining how I am going to spend my money. The lotto numbers were called. And nope, not even one number. But it does work when you apply it to your day to day life, your job, your relationship. Imagine what you want, and I mean what you really want, deep down. Think about it every day, imagine it happening, and I bet you it will.

Whether you want to believe or accept that, is your choice. But you cannot doubt that your mind is incredibly powerful. Manifest good thoughts. Allow yourself to feel negative emotions once in a while but do not let them consume you. Do not let your mind control how you feel and make you feel negative all of the time. Because you know what is stronger than your mind? Your heart and your spirit. Connect with that, trust in that, and maybe, just maybe, you can begin to hold the reigns a little tighter on that rebellious mind of yours. Understand that your mind is so powerful, but you can control it. Find your way. Whether it’s meditating, confiding in a loved one, listening to great music, writing, however you want to connect with yourself. Do it. And make positive thoughts and emotions the norm. Those negative ones can just stay put until needed. Be nicer to yourself. The next time you look in the mirror, say kind words to yourself. Think of everything you love about that glorious body of yours. And the things you don’t like, you can work on. But do not let those darken the way you perceive yourself. Let the great things shine. The same with your life. Whatever bad things are happening, you control how you react and feel. You hate your job so end up feeling crap about life? Okay, accept it and do something about it. Look for something else, see what it is about your job that you hate and work to change that. Don’t let your mind tell you that this is it and you have to deal with feeling useless. Your mind likes to lie. Let your heart take control once in a while, and let those positive thoughts and emotions erupt out of you. And always. Always. Love yourself. Because ultimately, you are all you’ve got.

Mary

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